...I encourage you to be patient in what ministry God has planned for you, all of these wonderful things going on around you are very tempting to jump in and do also, BUT God has a definite plan for the two of you and if YOU try to make something happen, it may be a good thing but not the best thing. Learn from all that is happening around you, and do participate, but do not force things to go the way you think they should at this time. Patience, your time will come.
Fuller is the place for you, to grow, to learn, to expierence all that is out there. What other time in your life will this be all available to you?
Regarding Compton housing, the time will also be right for you, look how difficult it is so qualify, so I do not think there will be a mad rush on the program....You are a very special and gifted couple. GOD HAS ENORMOUS PLANS FOR YOU...
I thank and praise God for such excellent friends and counsel for Tara and I out here. The decisions surrounding Compton are huge, they are much larger than Tara and I are, that is for sure. They also fill me with excitement, fear, and a degree of uncertainty. I moved to California to give my life to God, to serve him first and foremost. My prayer has been for a long time, that my life is not my own, but that it be lived in faithful service to God, wherever and however that might look is totally dependent on Him. This was totally independent with concern for how much money I am making, wanting to live in faith that God will provide. So I came here and devoted myself to God and his church, specifically Emmanuel, but after two years of interning at Emmanuel and a number of changes, I now find myself part time at Emmanuel, and a full-time teacher, and also a part-time seminary student. So what was I called into, was I called to work for Emmanuel, was I called to seminary, was I called to teach, was I called to a combination of two or all three of these, what is exactly going on. My life is crazy busy, I do not have much time to contemplate what all is going on around me, but that is simply irresponsible. When I look at how I got to where I am today, I am not 100% sure that I know. I do really enjoy my classes at Fuller, I am enjoying my job at Emmanuel more than I have in quite awhile, as I consider it all, I am wondering if perhaps the confusion came into play with the video productions for the church. When I look back on my time, I think that I will have to put my finger on the videos as what changed everything. So what should my life look like? Am I going in the right direction? What is the long-term goal? Am I becoming too comfortable at Valley? Am I supposed to be comfortable? Tara and i are now over half-way through our first year of marriage. I am very blessed by my wife, we are well provided for, we live rather comfortably, and we live a happy life, with great friends, support, and an awesome God, but that is today...what about tomorrow? What is this supposed to look like? I know that God is quite clear that we do not need to worry about tomorrow, but I think that it is ok to have an idea as to where our lives our heading, but when trying to live our lives for God, I am not sure that we can know. This however leads to an interesting concept. At one point in life I definitely lived by the concept/idea that the holy spirit could only lead in last minute decisions and that any preparation would be stifling the Holy Spirit, and not something we want to be about, but now, after some good council, I have grown to learn that God in his infinite wisdom is able to plan ahead, and that the Holy Spirit is able to move far before my mind/body is ready for it. But all of this said, I still want to know where God is calling us, what he is calling us into. I agree with grandma when looking at 40 years, it is not only a long time, it is a lifetime in reality. So what does this mean, what is God saying to us right now. I suppose that our prayers move, and we ask that God will give us clarity, without question. I know that faith is a good thing. It is something that God rewards us for having, but God, we want to give you our lives, and I definitely know that my decisions are easily swayed and are easily directed by selfish desires. For this reason, I strongly pray that God will reveal to us where we are called to. We have been blessed with a knowledge and a love for God that is not just for ourselves, but is something that we are called to pour out on all of those around us. Our lives have been blessed by many experiences, and God is ready to use them, but we just need to know where we can go, where we are being called to be a blessing. We are getting tired of simply looking to God and feeding ourselves and not investing in those around us. I mean, we do invest in our friends, we do discipleship and we love all of those that God gives us, but the people we love, are very lovable, perhaps we are being called to love some that are not easily loved. But then again, we do not really know. We just want to have our lives be God's and not our own. In short, please be praying for us, that we might follow closely in the way our Rabbi.
grace and peace,
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