Finals Week

We are already into December, time continues to fly past us.  I had at one point thought that high school simply flew by, and then college, wow that went by quickly, but now it is life.  Life itself is flying past me, it would seem.  Perhaps it is from a schedule that is simply too busy, perhaps it is from not simply resting enough during my free time or my vacations, I am not sure.  I do know that I have not kept up with as many of my friends, as I would like.  It is as though not only my life is pulling me into so many directions, but then everything around me, the things that make my life a little more enjoyable, are pulling me as well.  I have so many friends from Iowa, from college, and even Los Angeles, that have moved away.  I love these people, they are very, very valuable to me and have left an impact on my life, I will be forever grateful for, but it seems that I cannot have the best of both worlds.  I am forced to choose between investing in the relationships and the people that are immediately around me and a part of my life today, or to continue investing in the relationships that are so valuable to me, yet separated by distance.  It is even more complicated than this, I think.  I mean, it is not that I even really have the time I need to invest in the relationships which are around me.  I am being called and pulled to be more intentional in my investments of people that I do not know yet.  It is as though, once someone becomes a good enough friend that you are comfortable and are able to grow and encourage each other, it is time to say good-bye and begin investing in someone else.  There is something kind of scary about this to me.  If we are constantly focusing on the new people that are walking in the door and leaving the ones who have been around for a considerable time to fend for themselves, I am not sure that we are doing justice to the Gospel.  It is kind of a both and kind of a deal.  We do need to be mindful and welcoming to the those that are new and visiting, they definitely need to be discipled as well, but how can we forget those that have been a part of our lives, the shaping of who we are today.  Again, I am merely throwing out thoughts, not things that I have come to definite conclusions on.

It is finals week at Fuller this week, I just submitted my paper on John Calvin and the doctrine of the Lord's Supper last night.  An incredible look at the church's development in such a mysterious and awesome gift.  To summarize what Calvin said, which I believe I have talked about before, the Supper is an outward symbol to the inner nourishment that our souls receive from the life and death of Christ.  In the same way, the waters of baptism do not physically cleanse us of our sins, but represents the cleansing that is occurring within the believer, the Supper is a representation of the inner nourishment, that our souls need, being met by Christ.  

Everything in life is going alright.  I will be very thankful to have my final behind me.  I have a 340 point final tomorrow night in my church history class.  It consists of 10 terms that total 100 points, 2 essays at 100 points each, and 2 random questions at 20 points each.  There is a ton of information that we need to have down.  I am sure that it will go well, but still am a little anxious, I just want to do well.  I can easily say that after this class, my interest and respect for the church historic is improved. This is definitely despite some truly troubling histories and confusions within the church.  I am grateful to know a little better my own history and in understanding that history can more clearly see  how things have developed to be the way that they are today.  

We went into Compton on Saturday and took pictures.  I had the opportunity to talk to a lady named Suzy who had her mail man recommend her house to be cleaned up by us.  She has adopted seven children since birth, one of which is now in his 20's all of them her nieces and nephews.  She is  a single lady doing her best to love these kids, and protect them from the gangs and hardships that pressure them.  She had a renewed faith in the goodness of man, and the blessings of God.  She was going to come and check out Emmanuel, she could not understand how a church could care so much for another city and a person outside of itself.  Saturday night, we also had the opportunity to talk with a guy from the reformed church, church planting committee who is looking at working with Emmanuel in assessing people to become church planters and helping in the initial church plants.

I am excited to begin planning for our trip back to Iowa.  Hopefully this weekend, we will have some time to clean-up around the house and start to bring some order back into our lives.  After Wednesday, Fuller is on break until January 7, so nearly a month of not concerning myself with classes!  Some random notes, we have our Christmas tree up and decorated, I hung the lights, and we have begun to listen to small amounts of Christmas music.  Not exactly a favorite of Tara's :).  

Well, I need to get to some projects, have a blessed day.

matt

A time to...

...I encourage you to be patient in what ministry God has planned for you, all of these wonderful things going on around you are very tempting to jump in and do also, BUT God has a definite plan for the two of you and if YOU try to make something happen, it may be a good thing but not the best thing. Learn from all that is happening around you, and do participate, but do not force things to go the way you think they should at this time. Patience, your time will come.

Fuller is the place for you, to grow, to learn, to expierence all that is out there. What other time in your life will this be all available to you?

Regarding Compton housing, the time will also be right for you, look how difficult it is so qualify, so I do not think there will be a mad rush on the program....You are a very special and gifted couple. GOD HAS ENORMOUS PLANS FOR YOU...

I thank and praise God for such excellent friends and counsel for Tara and I out here. The decisions surrounding Compton are huge, they are much larger than Tara and I are, that is for sure. They also fill me with excitement, fear, and a degree of uncertainty. I moved to California to give my life to God, to serve him first and foremost. My prayer has been for a long time, that my life is not my own, but that it be lived in faithful service to God, wherever and however that might look is totally dependent on Him. This was totally independent with concern for how much money I am making, wanting to live in faith that God will provide. So I came here and devoted myself to God and his church, specifically Emmanuel, but after two years of interning at Emmanuel and a number of changes, I now find myself part time at Emmanuel, and a full-time teacher, and also a part-time seminary student. So what was I called into, was I called to work for Emmanuel, was I called to seminary, was I called to teach, was I called to a combination of two or all three of these, what is exactly going on. My life is crazy busy, I do not have much time to contemplate what all is going on around me, but that is simply irresponsible. When I look at how I got to where I am today, I am not 100% sure that I know. I do really enjoy my classes at Fuller, I am enjoying my job at Emmanuel more than I have in quite awhile, as I consider it all, I am wondering if perhaps the confusion came into play with the video productions for the church. When I look back on my time, I think that I will have to put my finger on the videos as what changed everything. So what should my life look like? Am I going in the right direction? What is the long-term goal? Am I becoming too comfortable at Valley? Am I supposed to be comfortable? Tara and i are now over half-way through our first year of marriage. I am very blessed by my wife, we are well provided for, we live rather comfortably, and we live a happy life, with great friends, support, and an awesome God, but that is today...what about tomorrow? What is this supposed to look like? I know that God is quite clear that we do not need to worry about tomorrow, but I think that it is ok to have an idea as to where our lives our heading, but when trying to live our lives for God, I am not sure that we can know. This however leads to an interesting concept. At one point in life I definitely lived by the concept/idea that the holy spirit could only lead in last minute decisions and that any preparation would be stifling the Holy Spirit, and not something we want to be about, but now, after some good council, I have grown to learn that God in his infinite wisdom is able to plan ahead, and that the Holy Spirit is able to move far before my mind/body is ready for it. But all of this said, I still want to know where God is calling us, what he is calling us into. I agree with grandma when looking at 40 years, it is not only a long time, it is a lifetime in reality. So what does this mean, what is God saying to us right now. I suppose that our prayers move, and we ask that God will give us clarity, without question. I know that faith is a good thing. It is something that God rewards us for having, but God, we want to give you our lives, and I definitely know that my decisions are easily swayed and are easily directed by selfish desires. For this reason, I strongly pray that God will reveal to us where we are called to. We have been blessed with a knowledge and a love for God that is not just for ourselves, but is something that we are called to pour out on all of those around us. Our lives have been blessed by many experiences, and God is ready to use them, but we just need to know where we can go, where we are being called to be a blessing. We are getting tired of simply looking to God and feeding ourselves and not investing in those around us. I mean, we do invest in our friends, we do discipleship and we love all of those that God gives us, but the people we love, are very lovable, perhaps we are being called to love some that are not easily loved. But then again, we do not really know. We just want to have our lives be God's and not our own. In short, please be praying for us, that we might follow closely in the way our Rabbi.
grace and peace,