So what do we do when we come into contact with the opportunity to live out the gospel. Do we look blindly at it, completely ignorant to its calling, do we recognize it, and smile as we watch it walk past, or do we stand up and yell I LOVE YOU...MEET JESUS IN ME!!!
A really thin black man, with tattered clothes and a very colorful, yet beaten up cane has come on the train as I have ridden it many times before. I have never really known what to make of this man, I sometimes wonder as to whether or not they are really in need, really blind, really hurt, or are really going to use the money that they are asking for to buy their prescriptions and food like they claim, or if it is what so many white-middle class Americans assume, most of the time which may be the case, that they are going to use your money to go and fulfill their next drug or alcohol fix. But like I said before, I had seen this man on the train a few times before, he had my attention, and I actually listened to what he had to say, he was a diabetic, he would happily take food, but not sugary food, of course, and really just needed some money to help buy something warm to drink and a burger. He was just asking for dimes or whatever else we might have. After he said all of this in english, he proceeded to do the entire request over in spanish, but the next part is what surprised me. It was as though he recognized my doubt and went ahead and did something he had not done the previous times, I sat and quietly watched, from a much greater distance than I did last night. He actually took out his eyes and showed that they were glass. In order, to fulfill my duty as a white-middle class american, I did the typical lame thing, and gave him the 50 cents that were in my pocket, but this opened my eyes up...this revealed to me something that was far more valuable than the 50 cents. I mean, I had processed through the awesomeness of being able to offer this blind man sight, I mean, I think that it would be really cool to have a guy who just showed an entire train that his eyes were made of glass, and then to pray for him, and the atomical structure of the glass is transformed into flesh, flesh that works, and allows him to see, but then I thought, what if that isn't what he wanted. What if he didn't want what we all thought of as such a necessity, would that be a gift to him, or would it force him into a life that he does not want to live. When reflecting on this, the Mark passages we had looked at last year in scripture study came to mind and revealed to me something larger than I had ever imagined. When Jesus was asking the person what they wanted, it wasn't just to get them to ask, it wasn't because he needed them to need him, perhaps he truly wanted them to be blessed, and wanted to know what that looked like for them.
So, I messed up this time, I simply gave him 50 cents, it was more than what he was asking for, but I didn't ask what he needed. I think the next time I ride the train and I run into this guy, I might ask him to have a seat next to me, I think that I will ask him his name first of all, and then, I am going to ask him what he needs. Who knows, I might bring some bread along, just as a temporary gift, to help our conversation along a little. I just hope and pray that God gives me, not what I need, but what this beautiful child of God is in need of most.
And as he said on his way out the train car...I'll pay you back on Sunday.
I wish that this was the only mistake I made on the trains last night. Oblivious to all that goes on around me 90% of the time, I have decided, I was sitting on the platform at Willmington/Imperial Station waiting on the green line to take me to Lakewood station, and a rather tall black man on a scooter was waiting beside me. I again, did the polite white-middle class Christian thing and made sure he was able to get on the train, without caring who he was as a person. I did not notice until he was getting off at Long Beach Station, that his briefcase, underneath of his seat had a UNI logo on it. I had an in with this man, an conversation starter, one that was never realized. You know, it is good to think, it is good to look outside of ourselves and our normal modes of life, but WAKE-UP, people need Jesus today. I happen to know who he is, I happen to have him living in side of me, but why am I not sharing him, why am I only thinking of ways to do it, while I watch amazing opportunities of love passing me by.
Please pray for me, pray that I will not be so selfish with my thoughts, so oblivious to the people that need Jesus all around me. I am tired of holding this secret and not sharing the love that has saved my life and given me reason to live.
Grace and Peace
